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When a depressive episode happens. You can beat it

 Its been a few days from coming out of what seems to have been a bit of a depressive episode as such.

It starts where I cry so much, all the time. I cannot pin point why or what is even bothering me. Everything bothers me. 

I don't want to talk, see people, interact via SM nothing. I get up and plodge through the day to do my job.

I don't get dressed (thank gosh for working from home). My healthy eating goes out the window and I over eat.

My sleep becomes worst than normal which doesn't help and heightens every feeling and emotions by ten folds. 

My thoughts become negative, nothing will ever get better, is this going to be it for ever?. I become very exhausted both mentally and physically. I also suffer with pain in my body but during these times its much more noticeable and adds more to what your trying to cope with already.

I cut the world off. Where you actually need to be reaching out and saying I'm struggling.

I become hard on myself. That inner criric come on stop feeling like this, get on with things, stop feeling sorry for yourself  there are people in worst situations  etc etc this doesn't help. 

On top of that the PTSD that can effect you, jump out and punch you in the stomach at any moment day or night add to it when that happens.

I dont talk to my husband about this or the kids I just hide from them all as much as I can, shut down, be as minimal as possible but function enough that they don't ask its only after I say ive felt a bit rubbish. 

I've started to realised that actually its my body telling me Kara slow down, take some time to rest both your mind and body. Be kind to yourself and its ok for you to rest. 

Dont punish yourself when these times hit, they will and thats OK. Everytime it happens you might think this is it I cannot go on however its building you stronger, it proves to you that you can do this, that your strong, determined and worthy of your rest. 

This is just a quick blog to say to anyone going through one of these it will and can get better but to please dont suffer alone or in silence, dont beat yourself up for taking time for yourself to rest because that is needed and is the only way to gain the strength to keep going to get to that better place.

Remember 

Its ok not to be ok

Its ok to rest

Its ok to change your plans 

Its ok to reschedule 

Its ok to have a pj day

Please dont punish yourself for doing what helps you. Xx



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