Loneliness, feeling a Burden

What the hell is Loneliness? 

Wikipedia first paragraph - Loneliness is an unpleasant emotional response to perceived isolation. Loneliness is also described as social pain—a psychological mechanism which motivates individuals to seek social connections. It is often associated with an unwanted lack of connection and intimacy. Loneliness overlaps and yet is distinct from solitude. Solitude is simply the state of being apart from others, not everyone who experiences solitude feels lonely. As a subjective emotion, loneliness can be felt even when surrounded by other people; one who feels lonely, is lonely. The causes of loneliness are varied. They include social, mental, emotional, and environmental factors.

Why does it hurt so much? Along with feeling like a burden that is head messing stuff. 

The past few days I've gone from sleeping hours and hours in which I believe I needed, to last night hardly sleeping, my head unable to calm, silence, stop it overthinking.

Loneliness and feeling a burden for me are possibly 🤔 two of my strongest feelings well along with everything else. 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Last night I had my husband here, I have my kids, my dog and friends I could call but yet I was sat in bed in tears feeling so lonely. My head was hurting, my heart felt broken, my temples felt like they were going to explode, I felt pain in my chest, I felt tense, so so alone. This led to me not contacting or communicating with anyone because the whole feeling of being a burden then took over. That dreaded inner critic started, your being pathetic, weak, who cares about you feeling sad, lost, alone, fed up, scared, no one wants to hear from you so go suffer alone and in silence. This is what repeats in my head. I wonder if your the same?

I'm sat in tears now having done exactly that. Wanting to get my tent, run away from the world, hide away cause I'm feeling depressed, I feel hurt, pain, alone, lonely, sad, lost.

PLEASE to anyone out there feeling this way don't. PLEASE REACH OUT, please message someone, you are not any of them things that are mentioned above. The brian can be a nasty, complex THING that can confuse us. Please don't allow it to. 

That hardest thing you might do today is message someone to say I'm struggling but it's OK. You took the first step. Be proud when you do it.

Being a burden,,,,,,well this I think about all the time. I've even felt it at work after asking for a day off, a day off that I'm entitled to. It's strange.

You might feel like your a burden in many ways, I'm still trying to figure out how to not feel like one. What I can say is, I'm easy to give advice to others however I cannot take my own. So if that inner critic voice is taking over the logic one that is saying reach out call someone, ask for help listen to it, ignore the negative one, your stronger than that, your worthy for support, help, advice, that phone call or message you send, you are worth it so do it.

Please believe me when I say your not being a burden, reaching out is a good thing, it shows your strong, brave, willing to get the help, support, love that your entitled to.

I've wrote this short, quick blog in a hope that someone reads it, needs it, reaches out and see's they are not alone with their feelings you are not the only one to think you are burden but I just want to tell YOU, 

YOU ARE NOT A BURDEN. 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

HELP IS OUT THERE.

YOU ARE LOVED.

PLEASE REACH OUT.

and I'm sending you a massive hug cause I get the pain your feeling and I wouldn't want anyone to suffer like this.

Your feelings are yours, they are true, they are real, your thoughts are yours, they are true, they are real. It's ok to feel. To feel means your real do not dismiss you or your feelings. ❤